Christian Womens Blog

Christian Womens Blog by Laurie Cole of Priority Ministries

Laurie Cole

Author, Speaker, Teacher

Front Porch Friday: How to Honor Your Husband When You Disagree With Him

How do you honor your husband when you reeeally don’t agree with him? If you’re married or hoping to marry, that’s a question you need to know how to answer. And on today’s Front Porch Friday, I’m sharing 3 ways you can honor your husband EVEN when you disagree with him. See you on the porch!

Praying for all of you wives and wives-to-be,

Got a question for me or want to share YOUR insights about honoring a husband you disagree with? Just post a comment below or email it to me at priority@priorityministries.com. Love hearing from you!

Click here to watch other videos in the “Ask Laurie” series!

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Hi Laurie! Definitely God spoke me through you to the tears!!! I do love my husband with all my heart and I’m always asking God to let me see my husband through His eyes. My husband decided to seek professional counseling that would help both of us in our relationship. Thank you for your heavenly answer and your kind words that I know would touch many women’s hearts!! Have a blessed weekend!!

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    • “I’m always asking God to let me see my husband through His eyes.” I love that! What a blessing to read your sweet testimony. Love to you, dear sister.

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  2. Thank you Laurie. Good advice, not necessarily easy to implement, yet it makes wise, biblical sense to me. My husband and I are in and out of day-to-day stressful situations due to moving, remodeling, busy daily work schedules and sometimes seeing things differently yet other times seeing things similarly too. My best approach is to let the SMALL things GO, and to air the PESKY things and then MOVE ON.
    MBut for the really IMPORTANT ones it seems to work best to carefully choose a good time and place to address them, i.e., when we are not too stressed or emotional. We talk about them even though it can be touchy and try to listen and to give each other the benefit of the doubt. This brings us back to the oneness you so beautifully speak of.
    Thank you for your wonderful work and advice

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    • Amen and amen, Jasmine! I agree with every word you wrote. Thank you so much for sharing the wisdom God has given you. I love the way your testimony reveals that marriage is work, but the results — a growing oneness with your husband and spiritual growth and maturity in Christ — is worth it. Blessings to you and your husband!

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  3. Leave it up to God to straighten things out. A time away or overnight brings the right prayer into focus and the right answer to light. Therefore, just except the answer and go on there are no disagreemnets worth holding on to. Make the decision everyday just to love him and you will see what wonderful things will happen.

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    • Thank you, Janet! I would agree that most disagreements aren’t worth harboring or holding against your husband — “love covers a multitude of sins.” However, and I’m sure you agree, there are some exceptions (abuse, adultery, addiction, abandonment) that cannot be ignored. So grateful to hear from you.

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  4. My qestion is when we go to heaven. will we know have feelings for our husband or we will just know know and will we know our family when we see them Plus when we get there can we look on jesus and our father with our ours.

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    • I think this is the first question I’ve been asked about heaven. Thank you, Charlotte! I will prayerfully consider answering it in a future Ask Laurie video. God bless you!

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  5. I found, from personal experience, that my attitude going into a discussion about things has a huge impact on things.

    This truly came to light for me when one of our daughters wanted to date a young man that didn’t meet my approval. My husband is not a Christian, and I just knew that he would not have the same concerns regarding this young man’s relationship with God that I did.

    My first instinct was to go in “standing my ground”, but the Lord had really been dealing with me on the issue of submission. So, I prayed – prayed hard – and decided to be submissive to whatever my husband said. To my amazement, God worked in his heart, and he saw things the way that I did.

    I think that, had I gone into this with a “I’m going to get my way” attitude, we would have argued and it would have become an issue between us.

    God tells us to be submissive, and I know from experience, that when we decide to do things His way, He blesses obedience. He DOES know best, and took that into consideration when He established His ways – sometimes, it just takes us a little longer to figure that out.

    Thank you for your Christian insight on this issue and many others!!!

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    • Amen, attitude is HUGE when seeking to resolve conflict. And a bad one can ramp things up and make things so much worse can’t it? The example you shared about your daughter and husband touched my heart, glorified God, and I’m sure encouraged everyone who read it. Your comments and and wisdom are ALWAYS welcome here on the Glo Girl Blog. Blessings to you, Beth!

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    • I wish there was a “LIKE” button on here similar to what they have on Facebook. If they did, I’d have pushed it.

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  7. My three daughters are all in their early twenties, some of the friends are already settling into being a mom and a wife. I see them struggling and they will ask for help. The biggest struggle I see is they only look at a difficulty from their view and not their spouse or the family. What counsel can I give these young women to learn to put away self

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  8. For me, in our first half of our marriage, learning to be submissive was a stonewall. I just didn’t understand the importance of it in regards to my hubbies feeling. However, it’s come in the 2nd half of our marriage, (& I might add with deep delving into the scriptures). The honor I give him now, is TRUST, which equals LOVE, that he holds my best interest at heart. So. In things that are top priority, major decisions-financial, family, I now give over to him………wellllll…..okay. At least 95% of the time. For the other niggly 5% we just kinda agree to disagree til we finally have a meeting of our minds. I LOVE this part of our life as it truly UN-burdens me & it’s a real JOY to see that he KNOWS the utmost respect I have for him. 😉

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  9. what if your husband says embarrassing things in public; not necessarily vulgar, just inappropriate and embarrassing to you or others; things that are not appropriate in certain settings….

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  10. Along w/ Kate, my husband often tries to be ‘funny’ when we are around others. I find it embarrassing because I know he comes across as ‘silly’ or ‘goofy’ to others. They laugh, but you can see that they also think it’s a little goofy. I’d love to have more give and take conversations w/ other couples but his always joking makes it tough. How do I honor him as a wife when I often don’t have respect?

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  11. Your hair style in the ponytail was so adorable. The message was right on the money. Thank you for your Wisdom.

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  12. Excellent advice Laurie, as usual. Marriage is work as is echoed in other ladies’ comments. I had to end my 1st marriage of 18 years because of his addictions, but God has blessed me with a wonderful man to experience HIS love here on earth. I enjoy working with him in a partnership, and honoring him even in those times that I don’t agree with him.

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  13. Thanks Laurie…we women need all the encouragement we can get with our marriages…it is so hard!

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  15. Needed to hear this today! My husband and I got a huge financial blessing and we are in disagreement about where the tithe should go…. we both want to honor God but feel so strongly about where the money should go to honor God, we have yet to come to a place of “oneness” on this, but i want to approach my husband with that attitude you described, and do what I should to honor God and honor my husband, thanks for the encouragement Laurie!
    A continuing question,Do you think because the Word says He is the leader, that the final decision is his to make on where we tithe or just in general important family decisions (there is no “sin” involved just life decisions for our family), even if we discuss and pray and still disagree? I believe scripturally it is, but if we both have the same Holy Spirit,shouldn’t we be able to reach the same agreement?

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    • Jamie,
      I must say that I firmly believe that the final decision on all things lies with the man. To me, this is an issue between me and God. God tells me to be submissive to my husband. Period. I can either choose to obey that, or be disobedient. God does honor obedience. The Bible is clear that the man is the leader of the home. So, yes, I would say that the final decision would be his to make.

      You are blessed that your husband, too, wants to honor God in this tithe.

      Having the same Holy Spirit doesn’t necessarily mean that you will come to the same conclusion. It may be an issue that God is testing you in, with full submission.

      I’ll be praying for you and your family as this decision is made.

      In Christ’s love and service always,
      Beth Fisher

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      • thanks Beth! miraculously my husband sought wise counsel from a mentor at our church today! and yes i agree with you, i need to submit fully that the final decesion is his to make, but it was icing on the cake that he came home and told me he wants to lead me to find peace in the decesion as well so we will stay in oneness, it was amazing to hear him say that! God is awesome, as you do your part (which mine was being submissive) God worked out my husbands heart to want to lead me in a more loving way. Praise God and thank you for your prayers Beth, God bless you! : )

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        • Jamie,
          I’m glad things worked out the way they did. I have always found that when I willingly (and completely) submit my heart to God, one of 2 things always happens in this area. Either God changes my husbands heart to agree with what I feel is the right thing, or He changes mine to see why his way is right.

          This type of oneness and agreement ONLY comes when I am fully willing to submit 100% to God by submitting 100% to my husband.
          In Christ’s love and service always,
          Beth

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