See those girls? To you, they may look like a typical group of college girls. But they’re not. They’re different in the very best sense of being different. In fact, in today’s world, these girls are quite controversial. And last night they invited me to meet with them and their leaders to discuss a very controversial topic.
For most of their lives, the culture (and even the church) has communicated a very strong message to these girls regarding this controversial topic. And if you think the topic is sex, you’re wrong. No, the topic they chose – they wanted – to discuss with their adult leaders and me last night was . . .
Marriage. Gasp!
Surprised? Are you wondering why marriage is considered a controversial topic? If so, that’s probably because you’re closer to my age than you are to the age of these girls. But if you’re attuned to today’s culture, you’re familiar with the primary sermon it preaches to girls (and guys) about marriage. It’s a message designed to discourage and dissuade them from marrying unless or until they have achieved one, more, or all of the following goals:
- They have completed college.
- They have a successful career.
- They are established financially.
- They achieve an independent lifestyle.
Don’t get me wrong. None of the above goals are bad. It’s just that they are all deemed far more desirable than marriage. In fact, you could probably add living together to that list since it’s become the wise, popular, and socially acceptable alternative to marriage.
But don’t take my word for it. The fact that marriage is falling out of favor with today’s generation is backed up by both secular and Christian research.
And if you’re unsure about why the decline of marriage is such a big deal, here’s why: marriage is the very first institution that God ever established. It’s the building block of every stable civilization and, more importantly, it’s the foundation of the family.
So, what can you and I do about about the decline of marriage? Well, for starters, we can be pro-marriage. We can present marriage to our sons and daughters as a positive, God-honoring pursuit and not some third-class, put-it-off-as-looong-as-possible goal. I warned you this was a controversial post.
And now I’m going to ask you to stick your neck out even farther. I want you to take a look at one of The Most Controversial Articles I’ve ever read. Published by Christianity Today in 2009, and written by Dr. Mark Regenerus, a Christian sociologist, the article is entitled, “The Case for Early Marriage.” You need to read it. But I’m warning you ahead of time, this article may offend you. It may even make you mad.
But whether or not you agree completely with the author’s conclusions, I’m praying that article will make you pause and think about the message you’re conveying to your sons, daughters, and others about marriage. I can tell you that it jarred me to my very core — but it didn’t make me mad. It made me glad. Glad that someone would take a stand for the controversial topic of marriage.
Okay, enough controversy for now. Let’s get back to last night . . .
For me, the best part of our college girls gathering on Sunday evening was the Q & A with a panel of experts made up of a godly group of married women I know well and love even more.
See those gals sitting in the chairs? That’s the panel of marriage experts: (l-r) Jennifer Sapaugh, Glenna Harding, Mary Burnett (who previously served on our Priority staff and whom we still love to pieces), Joy LeBlanc, and Kelli Holloman (whose beautiful golden locks are hiding her even more beautiful face).
The girls had tons of good questions about marriage, and the panel had tons of excellent (and honest, and funny, and deep, and sometimes even embarrassing) answers. And believe you me, the girls were 100% zeroed-in and attentive throughout the Q&A — it was fantastic! All in all, it was one of the most meaningful meetings I’ve ever been a part of.
I came home from that girls gathering encouraged. And today my goal is to encourage you. Marriage, precious sister, is God’s design. Sometimes we forget that, don’t we? It’s easy to forget in a culture that constantly bombards us with so many negative messages and images of marriage (like the 24/7 coverage of the Kim Kardashian marriage-to-divorce debacle).
But today, in the final two paragraphs of this controversial post, I want us to look at marriage from a different perspective. A positive perspective. Let’s recall and reminisce about the very first wedding of all time. Because today, more than ever before, you and I need to be reminded about God’s perspective of marriage:
“Then the Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him’ . . . So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and . . . He took one of his ribs . . . and [He] fashioned into a woman the rib which he had taken from the man, and brought her to the man. And the man said, ‘This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called Woman because she was taken out of Man.’ For this cause a man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.” Genesis 2:18-24 NAS
Controversial? Yes. Out-of-step with today’s culture? Absolutely. But after all, when you walk with God and uphold His Word, you’re going to be like Him. And He’s controversial.
Your pro-God, pro-marriage, controversial sister who loves you,
